Whose grief is it anyway?

Someone’s grief has been left in the foyer. Can the owner please come and collect it?

Hi, yes, hello, over here. Lady in the purple jumper in the front row. It’s mine, I’ll come and get it, don’t touch it.

Are you sure you can lift it madam, it’s awfully heavy?

Yes I’m sure. I brought it here. I’ve been carrying it around this whole time. I brought it with me on the train and got it into the taxi on my own. I dragged it along the pavement and pushed it through the door on my own. It hurt my back to stand and hold it so I just set it down for a few seconds. I’ll go and collect it now.

Let me help you.

Oh, how kind of you sir, man in the stripy jumper, next to you madam, he’s offering to help you.

Yes I can hear him. I don’t need help though I can lift it myself.

I want to help you. Some of it is mine. I don’t want you to carry it all on your own.

How can it be yours? It’s only mine. It happened to me. To my body, not yours. I can’t let you take it from me.

But I was there too, remember? I watched the person I love most burn in front of me and I was powerless. It was my future too, my plans and my dreams. Let me help you carry it. I’m carrying my own, we can even it out and share the load.

Well…I am a bit tired. Perhaps you could just help me get it home?

S’cuse me?

Yes? Who said that? Ah, lady in the second row…

Well, it’s just, we want to help too. We’ve had practise in the past and we’ve also brought some with us this evening. Ours doesn’t look as heavy as yours but it’s deceptive…we struggled to bring it here on our own. Perhaps if we put it all together we’ll have more of an even load between us.

I’d rather not share the load too widely. You might damage it and I’ve learnt how to carry it carefully so it doesn’t break.

But it doesn’t just belong to you. Some of it is ours as well so we want to help you both.

OK. But that’s it. No one else please.

There’s a few of us over here in the third row that want to help too!

Ah, yes I see you, ladies in the third row…what did you want to say?

Well, it’s just, we’ve seen you all struggling. You walk more slowly and you look so tired. We can’t help you carry the grief in the foyer, but we can make carrying it easier for you. We can stroke your hair and massage your sore feet and hands. We can put sugar in your tea and water the plants so you don’t have to.

Lady in the purple jumper – will you let them help you? Lady? Oh….where did she go?

She went to be with her grief. She went to gather up the parts that were just hers. We can share whatever’s left.

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